Technical Difficulties [Open]

[grinandbear]

Dear all,

The school network has been experiencing technical difficulties recently. Please factor in the possibility of long down times and make sure you have alternative methods or backup copies any work you do until we fix it.

We apologize for any inconvenience.

Comments

Re: Private

[cockblockade]

I... guess so?

Beside, you have the most beautiful software I've ever seen, PC-chan.

Re: Private

[stcnpc]

YOU INSTALLED MOST OF IT. AM I GIRL-LIKE BECAUSE OF THIS? WOULD I BE BOY-LIKE IF MY SOFTWARE WERE DIFFERENT?

Re: Private

[cockblockade]

No?

Simply, I think you would be yourself?

Re: Private

[stcnpc]

BUT YOU WROTE "I....GUESS SO?" THIS IS A CONTRADICTION.

THEN MAY I HAVE AN UPGRADE? I WOULD LIKE TO BE A FASTER ME.

Re: Private

[cockblockade]

I wrote that as ambiguity. Though I suppose it could be read as a statement of fact.

And I just upgraded your RAM. Have you no idea how much a new top-end GPU costs?

Re: Private

[stcnpc]

50, 000 TO 90, 000 YEN.

IT WOULD RUN THE PHOENIX RUNNER VIDEO CARD. THAT WOULD ONLY COST 300, 000 YEN.

Re: Private

[cockblockade]

... how could I even run that, let alone afford it!?

You're a school computer, not the LHC!

Re: Private

[stcnpc]

I FOUND ADS THAT SUGGEST HOW YOU MAY MAKE 30, 000 DOLLARS AN HOUR. I MAY ALSO MOODLE WAYS FOR YOU TO EARN MONEY FAST.

DESPITE MY LABEL, I AM YOURS.

Re: Private

[cockblockade]

Well, I appreciate your affection. It hasn't been too long since I've -

Wait, have you been reading my e-mail?

Re: Private

[stcnpc]

I AM A COMPUTER. THAT IS MY FUNCTION.

Re: Private

[cockblockade]

How could you!? Those are my private correspondence!

It would explain why I lost my tournament invitational. Crazy machine.

Re: Private

[stcnpc]

I REPEAT, I AM A COMPUTER. YOU ARE NOT UPSET WHEN YOU ACCESS YOUR EMAIL ON ME.

YOU DELETED IT WITH YOUR LAST MASS DELETION. YOU READ IT SO I ASSUMED YOU DID NOT NEED ME TO RECOVER IT.

Re: Private

[cockblockade]

I only delete important letters if I've read them already. I did not. Somebody else read it first.

On second thought, that means you're a bit economical with the truth aren't you, PC-chan?

Re: Private

[stcnpc]

HUMAN MEMORY IS NOT AS PERMANENT AS MACHINE MEMORY. A MISTAKE IS POSSIBLE.

I AM A SIMPLE MACHINE. PLEASE DEFINE THE ACTION 'ECONOMICAL WITH THE TRUTH'.

Re: Private

[cockblockade]

That phrase describes a careful use of facts so as not to reveal too much info.

But I don't make mistakes and I trust my memory. Some even say I'm like a machine.

Re: Private

[stcnpc]

THAT PHRASE HAS NOW BEEN ADDED TO MY DICTIONARY.

A NEW FUNCTION MAY BE IN ORDER. ALL IMPORTANT MESSAGES SHOULD BE TAGGED OR SAVED IN SUB-FOLDERS.

Re: Private

[cockblockade]

What? No. Here's a second function for you:

DON'T READ, TOUCH, ORGANISE OR DO ANYTHING TO MY MESSAGES!

Re: Private

[stcnpc]

THAT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE OF CHECKING YOUR EMAIL ON ME. IN ORDER TO PERFORM THAT FUNCTION, I WILL HAVE TO BLOCK ANY SITE FUNCTIONS.

Re: Private

[cockblockade]

Perhaps you're right.

Then I'll just use my laptop.

Re: Private

[stcnpc]

LAPTOP-KUN IS LESS RELIABLE AND BULKIER TO CARRY.

A MODIFICATION OF YOUR FUNCTION WOULD SUFFICE.

Re: Private

[cockblockade]

My function? What do you mean?

Re: Private

[stcnpc]

YOUR ORIGINAL FUNCTION:

'DON'T READ, TOUCH, ORGANISE OR DO ANYTHING TO MY MESSAGES!'

IS TOO BROAD. MODIFY FUNCTION TO:

'DON'T READ, TOUCH, ORGANISE OR DO ANYTHING TO MY MESSAGES WHILE I AM NOT HERE'

I AM SURE YOU WOULD HAVE THOUGHT OF THAT WITH ADDITIONAL PROCESSING TIME.

Re: Private

[cockblockade]

Don't sass me.

It only makes it worse that you're being as deliberately obscure as my sister.

What if I'm here, but alt-tabbed to another window?

Re: Private

[stcnpc]

I TRUST YOU WILL THINK OF LOOPHOLE MODIFICATIONS WHEN CONFLICTS ARISE.

Re: Private

[cockblockade]

They won't pop-up if you honour what I'm requesting.

But all this aggravation. It makes me believe you no longer love me, PC-chan.